It’s alright, Mr. Walken. We don’t think any less of you for it.

…which one of us is having an aneurysm right now?

You’ve got a bright future in crazy Victorian inventions if you can make a steam-powered time machine to get there.

Eh, it’s not unusual.

Breaking: Stormtroopers share their most emotionally challenging moments working for the Empire.

Christ, I had a feeling it was slop, but then oh god the teeth

You take it from wherever you are to the toilet.

Also on a less pedantic note, sometimes doctors will have you collect a home stool sample and take it to them.

I’ve never been so disgusted by something I so agreed with.

A TV with an OS and apps is not “simple”. Simple is a screen that displays what I plug into it.

Oh, absolutely. They’re supposed to be an acting troupe, right? Make an anthology show where each episode is a self-contained Muppetized version of a classic TV show. Muppet Cheers could be fun too, or MASH if they kept to the lighter side of it.

Kevin Bacon? America’s most beloved invisible rapist?

It does seem he lives at the factory. I think you’ve got a fair case here.

big radish

They’re called daikon.

You’re talking about “common metre”, and it also includes Amazing Grace, the Gilligan’s Island theme, House of the Rising Sun, Casey at the Bat, and the Lay of Nimrodel among many others.

You can swap any of the tunes and lyrics and they more or less work. One of my favorite music trivia things.

My ideal “non-book library” would be a public woodshop with a Ron Swanson librarian figure to help people use the tools safely.

Woodworking seems so satisfying as both an art and a craft, but between the cost of materials, tools, and the space needed, I could never take up the hobby in the foreseeable future. But if I could go to a public workshop and use shared tools, just providing my own raw materials, the barrier to entry falls dramatically.

…how long are your fuckin showers, man?

The Story of Everest?

For the prices, or the access to things they don’t sell anymore? If I went to 1992 I think I could stock up on Ecto Cooler and TMNT pudding pies at the same time, maybe even Crystal Pepsi.

Someone will come up with a strat to reroll into something obscure like a wood louse and farm so much positive karma with an exploit that it won’t matter how negative you were.

Good god, the amount of both dairy and booze Santa is consuming in one night is a terrifying combo. The fumes on Boxing Day must be enough to knock out one of the reindeer at 50 paces.