Meeting other people’s friends groups (as you described meeting your partner’s friends) is a great way to shortcut that awkwardness. Its not just that someone else has done the hard work of filtering folks out, but that people are just on better form when with friends. Part of the problem of making friends in random social events is most people are either a bit awkward or putting on a social ‘mask’, which makes it harder to actually identify the people you’d like once you got past that.

My wife social circle has a bunch of people who entered as someone’s partner for a whole, but stayed friends with us after they broke up (even if there was a delicate period post-split where we hung out with them both, but never together).

https://lemmy.world/post/39499201 https://lemmy.world/post/39490841 https://lemmy.world/post/39379258 https://lemmy.world/post/39401080 https://lemmy.world/post/39443812 https://lemmy.world/post/39251915 https://lemmy.world/post/39294224 https://lemmy.world/post/38937776 https://lemmy.world/post/38770260

Just looking at the last 20 posts (including this one), these 9 are all links to ragebait news stories from accounts that are now deleted and have similar random usernames. Of the remaining 11, one is a weird downvoted post from a deleted account, 2 are politics posts but from active users. Just over a quarter of the posts are actually about interesting/useful information.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Asking people to join and then not be able post seems a bit shit. Same with the light moderation in most communities, when there’s a comparatively low level of posts, do we really want to be removing posts for being “off topic”?

But I also think that can backfire. I’m pretty close to leaving YSK and mildlyinfuriating because it feels that half the posts are just variations on politics. The tagine of “YSK” is a place for all the things to make your life easier. Looking back through the last 20 posts >75% are to do with politics, bad people and their misdeeds. I hate Boris Johnson, and people should be told he’s a corrupt ass hole, but we have communities for politics which is where that belongs.

Ragebait is always going to do well, it’s how our brains are wired. So if we don’t want all communities to end up being mostly “this is bad, you should be angry and sad” then we need stricter moderation. It’s a mistake to think more posts = more content. If most of the main communities of lemmy are overrun by these kinds of posts, the only new users it’s going to attract are people who want that, and the problem snowballs.

It’s not weird to think about the other paths you could have gone down. But I would avoiding feeling too much regret. If something genuinely seems interesting to you, make it part of your current life, even just as a hobby or side project. Remembering that we are more than just our current selves is important for not getting swallowed by the grind.

If it’s feeling envy about the better life some alternate you has, try to keep in mind that nothing is simple. Although other choices might seem appealing in abstract, maybe they’d also lead to more problems. Sure, you could have been a doctor, but maybe the stress would have driven you to burnout and opiate addiction (69% of doctors misuse prescription substances).

I’d also say, that as I get older, I feel like I hit different “Save Points” that prevent to much regret. I chose to study philosophy instead of law, which means I’m a lot less rich than I might have been, but I would trade my weird, chilled friends from uni for the bunch of competitive over achievers I would have been “friends” with if I’d gone down that route. I met my spouse during a stressful period in my life, completing a degree for a profession I no longer work in. I could see that whole period of study as a complete waste of time, but if I’d never met the person I married the my life would be incomparably poorer.

Not sure, but I wonder if it’s seen as an “easy” community to post in? There’s not a strict sense of what’s appropriate, and a lot of posts are just a link to an article, with “YSK” + a rewording of the article headline as the title.

It’s also one of the bigger communities, so posting a random article about a storm or laptops will get a decent amount of upvotes in a few hours.

Given that it mostly seems to be new accounts, I wonder if it’d be worth requiring a minimum age of a week or two before users can create a post?

I probably agree, but I’m not quite sure what you mean. Do you mean that people who are in a disadvantaged group in a society are more sensitive to language that is biased against their group? So women notice (and can be offended) by phrases like “you throw like a girl” while men might not care, or even notice, that it’s sexist.

Or do you mean people in disadvantaged groups are, in general better at detecting bias in language? So, poor people are better at spotting politic bias in reporting?

It’s the case for all dishwashers I know about. It’s not that weird if you think about it. When people wash dishes by hand, they often wash a bunch of dishes in the same basin, with the water becoming increasingly dirty. Depending on how dirty and how much they care, they’ll change the water occasionally. Then they’ll give everything a rinse in clean water to get rid of soap. (obvs people do dishes on a variety of ways, but this is pretty common in western cultures.)

Dishwashers are the same, spray the same hot soapy water over the dishes for a while, until it’s dirty and most of the solids have been removed. Then drain and wash again with clean water. The soapy stage is about removing dirt, but the sanitising comes afterwards with the hot rinse and drying.

And the single video that isn’t a “Sponsored” ad is still from Red Bull, and basically an ad.

You might have an intresting point here, but o don’t really understand what you’re saying. Can you explain a bit more?

Can you share a link?

Yup, just read the other post. No one picked stupid cat. Really weird behavior OP.

Edit: also, reading the reponses here, people don’t care or pick smart cat. Just like in the other post…

Was there a specific event that coincided with the blackout? I don’t know the details of current US events, just that they’re crazy and depressing.

Really depends on the porn. I feel like a lot of porn (if it has any logic or plot to speak of) is simply about sex occurring quickly in situations that it doesn’t usually. That can be beause it breaks a taboo (step-incest porn) or just an ordinary non sexual interaction getting horny (workplace, public, dinner, pizza delivery, etc.)

It isn’t generally “two people meet on a date and end up going back home and hooking up” because it’s just not the novel. I imagine there’s some of real life equivalents of both categories, but they’re almost be definition exceptional.

Closest I can think of from my own life, is drunkly having sex in a deserted area, not thinking about security cameras. But if it’d been real “porn logic” I would have had sex with the police officers who later took me in for questioning. But no.

Does population increase when famine hits? As I understand it the main brakes on population in human history have been famine and disease. The level of population that a society can support is usually based on its agriculture resources and technology. However, historically, the population would tend towards the highest level supportable, and then years with poor food producing conditions would cause famine and the population would contract.

Over the last century or so, the cycle has changed. Now societies with a food surplus don’t generally see constant population growth because of two things - food production is no longer dependant on how many humans can you put to work in the fields, so there’s less need for more kids to make a family’s work easier (in fact, each modern child costs more effort and expense than they produce); and we have birth control and education, which allow people to make more intentional decisions about when and if they have children.

Combining a lack of incentive with the capacity to choose means that many societies have broken the population growth and contraction (ie baby boom followed by famine) cycle. This leads to different problems such as aging populations, but that’s another discussion.

What’s with these new accounts suddenly posting dozens of generic, overwritten and preppy posts in a few hours. It seems like an almost inhuman pattern…

Depressing. ai bots flooding my feed today, check the post history

I’d say, they’re like digging your own latrine. A totally effective solution, as long as you’re physically able and your needs aren’t exceptional.

I basically agree with you, the more public transport provided, the less people need individual transport. But as a society, there are times when the right transport soloution for a specific household is pretty much a car. There’s no point in having busses driving out to my rural property multiple times a day, just for me not to use it most of the time.

That doesn’t mean it needs to be a private car owned by me. A government funded by taxi service would still be more cost effective than empty buses. When I lived in another part of the country, that’s what they’d replaced the busses with due to lack of demand.

But it’s a complicated transition. Currently I mostly use my car and trailer to get heavy building materials, and recover architectural salvage. Sure, I could buy a new staircase and have it delivered on a lorry, but is that really better for the environment than dismantling an old one and taking a couple of trips to ship it my property? There could be solutions, such as municipal vehicle rental. But sometimes a car or van is the sensible middle ground between a bike and a bus.

I’d say it’s more like, wanting a car is like wanting your own septic tank rather than a connection to municipal sewers. In an urban area it would be an insane waste of space to have individual septic tanks. But in the country the cost of building and maintaining infrastructure for just one household would be incredibly wasteful.

I think people should learn sign lanaguve causes it’s cool. But if it’s really for at-home, antigovernemnt planning, why not just put your phone in the other room, or the fridge? Sure, it’s a minor inconvenience to take it out your pocket, but that’s basically nothing compared to spending a few years being fluent enough in sign to hatch plans.